How to Get Matches Worth Matching
Updated: May 11, 2020
I remember the first time I heard about dating apps. I was walking with my girlfriends late at night around our college campus headed back to our dorms when my bestie mentioned Tinder and I asked her what it was. “It’s an app where you can swipe left and right and meet up with guys!," she explained. “Whaaaaat?!," I replied. “Yoooooo, it’s amazing! You have to get it”, she said, then proceeded to help me download the app and set up my profile. And well, for me, it was love at first swipe. I’ve tried out several different dating apps since this moment, but Tinder has always been my favorite. I have had nothing but successful experiences with dating apps. This is because I put much thought into my profile, and I’m very picky about the people I actually meet up with. After several years of swiping, I’ve finally developed a system that works. If you’re seeking effective Tinder dating tips, you’ve come to the right place. Whether you’re searching for a FWB, a life partner, or just someone to explore your city with, I’ve got a few helpful hints that will save you much time and trouble. Bio In my opinion, your bio is the most important part of your profile. Personally, I swipe left on people with empty bios — simply because I desire folks who are willing to put in a little effort regardless of the type of relationship I am searching for. And whatever you do, DO NOT use a pre-written bio you found on the internet; trust me, it’s obvious. It is imperative to approach dating in a way that aligns with what you’re looking for. So if you’re looking for a forever lover, be sure to hint at this in your bio. Simply stating “Not looking for a hookup” isn’t enough. Clearly and boldly state your values. Share what you do for a living and what your passions are. Don’t be afraid to fill up this section to allow them a solid understanding of the kind of person you are. Consider even inviting them to get to know you by prompting them to ask you a question about yourself (e.g. “Ask me about the time I broke both of my legs while studying abroad in China”) and suggesting a first date of dinner at a romantic restaurant. If you are looking for a hookup, be bold and mention something sexually enticing (ex. an interest in BDSM, your brand new silk sheets, how weed makes your horny, etc.), then end your witty bio with a call-to-action such as “Let’s get drinks!” Pictures Your pictures are the second most important part of your profile. This is where you get all the bonus points! Make sure you have a variety of clear photos including one good headshot, a group photo where you are easily identified, one full body picture, and a miscellaneous photo. This could be a silly photo, a photo of doing a fun activity, etc. — just something that showcases your interests! For example, I have a photo of me laying on a sofa reading because that’s what I’m doing during 90% of my free time. Just make sure these photos show your personality. They don’t have to be professional; just high quality and bright enough to showcase your beautiful face! If you’re strictly looking for a sexual relationship, there’s no harm and using a sexy photo. Show off your favorite *assets*. Give ‘em a taste of what they might get to experience in person ;) Swiping Be very intentional about how you swipe. Who you swipe on, what time of day it is, and why exactly you swipe right all hold much importance and will determine the quality of your matches. Swiping late at night inherently sends a message that you’re horny and on the prowl. Whereas swiping during daylight only implies that you’re looking to meet new people. I love the tip by Shan Boodram on her new show, Sexology, on Quibi about taking a drive to areas that inhabit the type of partners you want to meet, setting your distance radius to 1 mile, and swiping away. So for example, if you want to date a software engineer, park and swipe by your nearest tech village. If you have a thing for artists and musicians, swipe in your city’s art district. Put yourself in the right position to meet the people you feel you’ll be most compatible with. Make sure you’re able to know and explain exactly why you swiped right on someone. It could serve as a great opening conversation and you’ll be prepared if this person decides to randomly ask you (This has happened to me several times!). Communication Here’s the meat of the process: communication. Upon matching with a new cutie, your conversation is the most important part as it’s the deciding factor of whether or not the two of you meet in person. First messages are make or break. Personally (and as a woman), whether or not I message first typically depends on the type of relationship I’m seeking. So for a hookup, I’ll usually message first because I know exactly what it is I’m searching for and I want it urgently. But if I’m just dating, I’ll swipe for an hour or so, let the messages come pouring in, then decide who I want to respond to. I’ve made it a practice to text with new people for however long I need in order to feel comfortable meeting up with them. I ask every question with possible answers that could be dealbreakers for me. I do and say what I need to prevent wasting either of our time. For short flings, make your conversation light and fun while still peppering in your intentions. Send a first message that’s clever, sexy, and shows interest. For something more than a fling, start by getting to know them and understanding what they’re looking for and the kind of person they are. If they can’t say or don’t know what they’re looking for and you know you’re looking for a relationship, don’t even get involved, sis. Meetup Spots Ensure that your first meet-up or date aligns with the type of relationship you are seeking. There’s absolutely no shame in letting the first meet-up happen at your place or theirs. I’ve done this more than once and each blossomed into great FWB relationships. I’ve also met first dates at nightclubs, parks, and even a cat cafe. It all just depends on your vibe and your motive. You can never go wrong with a coffee date. If you’re looking for someone to bring a lot to the table, there’s also no shame in shooting for the moon and requesting a 5-star restaurant as a first date. Remember that you have full control over the types of relationships you get into and where these relationships go.
Remember to just be yourself. Don’t fret over them liking you; instead decide whether or not you like them. Treat your encounters like an extensive and competitive hiring process — making sure your chosen boos know they’re the lucky ones. Stand tall, pop a SheOrgasms supplement (or two or three or four), approach your dates with confidence, and remember that you are the prize always. And regardless of how you start off, don’t be afraid to let the relationship evolve into something that beautifully fits each of your needs.